Float Dissolve

click click click
press
grass pollen lips
look away

I created a derek_ lens. I encourage you to make a lens too. It’s very easy and you can have any revenue generated go directly to charity. Or to yourself if you really need it.

grey partitions reverberating
middle-age lust factory
paying moaning sighing wiping crying

Every sip heavy last wandering pisces.

warm feathers held up by tiles
walking quickly carrying supplies
is this memory

pure light
I saw her frozen still radiating
every step away moves closer
slipping on dirt

queasy teardrop investigation
a hole in the mind

just laugh, it’s ok. just laugh

she blinked and the wind from her eyelashes cooled my face
I inhale her name

the door opened and the light pink fragrance painted every wall.
every synapse

I talk to her with my eyes closed in silence.

Vanessa Davis is a brilliant artist.

Experiencing non-dualism and then explaining it is a paradox. So it can kind of be sketched and hinted at but really the words are meaningless. It reminds me of the scene in Shine when the teacher is telling him to learn all the notes in order to forget them. Read and read and read with the intention of forgetting the words. This is very hard to grasp in our society. Materials are taken to have inherent value. How can you have a thought without words? We think the words are experience.

We feel like a $100 bill is worth something all on its own. It is not. Its value is a creation of mind. I can only imagine it costs about the same to create ten $100 bills as it does ten $1 bills.

We think looking skinny is health. We think an orgasm is sex. We think feeling full is eating. We think being rich is having a lot of money. Do whatever we can to increase pleasure and comfort and decrease pain and discomfort. We’re conditioned to believe that pain is something that needs to be avoided. A sign of weakness.

But comfort is tinged with discomfort. When I find a very comfortable position in a seat, it’s not too long afterwards that it is uncomfortable and I feel the urge to shift. So what is it? Is it a comfortable position? It depends on so many things. Eating my favorite ice cream tastes really good and makes me feel good. But if I continue to eat a couple gallons I don’t feel so well. So what is it? Is it good or bad? Feels good to eat or bad to eat? It’s both. If I eat it mindlessly, subconsciously I think this is how I always want my mouth to feel, then when I’m finished I will feel very let down because my mouth doesn’t feel the way I decided it needs to. Then since the feeling is associatied with ice cream, I crave ice cream to induce the feeling. Then what happens if I don’t get the ice cream? Frustration, sadness, anger. Even jealousy at seeing someone else having ice cream. Haha.

Since our experience is relative, something out of the ordinary can either lift me up or pull me down from the middleground. If I think this temporary elation is a thing all by itself and not relative to my center, it can be very painful to go back. Conversely it can be very pleasurable to go back after being pulled down from it. But that pleasure is dependent on experiencing the pain of being pulled down.

Pleasure is very dissatisfying if I’m not prepared for the inevitable pain that is mixed together with it. When I raise my perspective to a higher point I can see that the pleasure and pain are aspects of one experience. They are the same.

It’s so difficult but ultimately rewarding to be content with both pleasure and pain. Contemplating or trying to explain how they are the same thing is annoying. Experiencing them as the same thing is brilliant.

It’s very hard to express. Since these are all words.

It’s all balance. And balance is not standing still. Watch someone balance a stick on their chin and you can see how much activity there is. It’s a constant adjustment . It starts to fall to the right, move a little to the right. It starts to fall to the left, move a little to the left, etc.

Pleasure and pain are dependent on external conditions. Awareness , through much practice, remains stable and unaffected by external conditions.

Step One: Shut the fuck up about Web 2.0
Step Two: Listen to people.
Step Three: Stop staring at screens
Step Four: Take a walk and pay attention
Step Five: Stop reading everyone’s stupid theories about the future of the internet
Step Six: Take a bicycle ride
Step Seven: Take notes on everything
Step Eight: Stop going to stupid conferences where everyone thinks they know what’s going to happen
Step Nine: Smile and say hi to everyone you meet, even bugs
Step Ten: Make up your own list and don’t ever mention the phrase Web 2.0 ever again, it’s stupid.

I bought this over the weekend. Something that really struck me:

“‘Ashes do not come back to firewood’. Ash is ash. Ash should be completely ash. The firewood should be firewood. When this kind of activity takes place, one activity covers everything.” - Shunryu Suzuki

Ultimate truth really can’t be conveyed in words. So things seem silly or irrational. It’s in the experience. When something is burned, what remains is all there is. Our suffering comes from not accepting things as they are. Our preferences cause discontentment.

“When you do something, you should burn yourself completely, like a good bonfire, leaving no trace of yourself.
…
Of course it is often necessary to think or prepare before we act. But right thinking does not leave any shadow. Thinking which leaves traces comes out of your relative confused mind. Relative mind is the mind that sets itself in relation to other things, thus limiting itself. It is this small mind which creates gaining ideas and leaves traces of itself.”

Become what you are doing and when it is finished let it be over. When we are free of expectations we are free. This is very difficult and takes much practice.

Out of context these might be confusing. If you’re at all interested in working on your mind I highly recommend this.

A lot of really wonderful work from Andrea Wicklund.